“Thou God Seest Me”

Sarah is probably one of the most familiar women in scripture. She’s the mother of the covenant line and there are quite a few scriptures dedicated to her marriage to Abraham, her unexpected pregnancy, and her motherhood in old age.

Buried in the story of Sarah though, hides Hagar and her own unique tale.

Maybe it’s our modern tendency towards comparison or our individual insecurities, but sometimes when we see two counterparts presented in scripture (which happens surprisingly often), we tend to assume that if one is good, the other must be bad or at the very least, lesser. Maybe that’s why we tend to overlook Hagar?

Hagar is the handmaid of Sarah and when Sarah is unable to conceive, she gives Hagar to Abraham so that he can have a child with her. (Sounds kind of awful to our modern minds but it was common then.)

Understandably, it seems like this became a point of struggle for Sarah. There was likely a decent amount of jealousy and comparison between the two when Hagar conceived and it came to a point where things got so tense that Hagar fled into the wilderness, away from the only home she really knew.

Alone in the wilderness, probably scared, frustrated, and unsure of what her future held, an angel came to Hagar.

The angel had several things to tell her: to return to her home (I can’t imagine that was what she was hoping to hear right then), that she would bear a son, and that her seed would be multiplied exceedingly (similar to the promise made to Sarah). These promises, this appearance of an angel must have spoken peace to Hagar’s heart.

And in that moment, that moment that I can only guess was filled with a strange mix of first complete discouragement and possibly despair, and then followed by peace and clarity through the visit of a heavenly messenger, Hagar uttered my favorite words in scripture:

“Thou God seest me.”

I don’t know if this was the first time she was realizing that or if she was having a moment of reaffirmation of knowledge she already had but needed to be reminded of right then. What I do know is that at that time of struggle, she knew she was known and loved by God.

Don’t we all long for this knowledge? Don’t we treasure those times when we see God’s hand in our lives and feel known and loved?

Hagar’s declaration reminds me of a moment recently when I was in the midst of struggle, discouragement, and uncertainty, like I imagine Hagar was.

That day, knowing of my struggle, my husband placed his hands on my head, and with his priesthood power, blessed me in the most tender, personal way. A way that let me know that my Heavenly Parents know me and know my struggles. That They are there, They are helping me, that I can trust Them.

And then I opened my scriptures to study, and I can say that in that moment, I felt the most complete feeling of spiritual healing. It was as profound as another time when I was healed physically in the midst of excruciating pain. The pain was suddenly gone.

The things that were weighing on my heart that day didn’t change. They didn’t go away.

But I felt the Lord’s presence and strength in my life. I felt uplifted and comforted, and I felt the peace that the Savior brings.

I knew that I could say in that moment, “thou God seest me.”

I knew that my Savior was there and that He, and He alone, could heal me. I knew through faith that things would be fine. That I could trust God completely.

Like Hagar, we all have times when we need to know that God is near. That we are known, loved, valued, and that we can trust God’s plan for our lives, even when it’s hard.

When we see this evidence, which is there when we look, then we can say, like Hagar, “thou God seest me” and know that it is true.